BEATING CHILDREN IN FOREIGN LAND

The Swedish case of a Malaysian couple beating their children has taken a pathetic twist that the mother is calling her children liars and publicity seekers. Something terribly wrong in their parenting skills. They may find security in the Prophet's teaching of beating the children if they are unwilling to perform prayers. Now the question is were they beaten only for not performing their prayers or were they beaten for every non-compliance. I am sure the Swedes also beat their children when they do not listen to them. But to term it as abuse means something more than regular. Certainly there is no bonding between the parents and their children. I seldom beat my children but I give them the space to express their views and allow them differ from me. In that way I have created a cordial relationship with my children who are independent but at the same time follow the advise. We should start listening to the children before we talk to them. When this communication gap is removed there will be no reason to shout at them or even to beat them.

I used to get beating from many relatives including my mother, uncles, aunts, grand father, and later wholesale from father. Most of the time I get beaten for things I did not do. Being a hyper active child my name always topped the list on everything and anything done in our community or family. That would send waves of anger resulting in my punishment. All those who accused me went scot-free. I used to think why I am such a hateful person. My mother always cried after beating me when she came to know that I did not do what I was accused of. That is only after giving me severe beating. This I am referring to my boyhood time in India. When I came to Singapore my father having known my reputation preceding my arrival took a stern look at me and beat me hard. But whenever he realised that he was wrong and that I was innocent he would apologise and buy me some sweets. He beat me till my age of 22. But when I returned from abroad he changed his approach and became very friendly and brotherly with me. But at no point of time he had beaten me for not performing prayer or for not reciting the Qur'an. He would only shout at me for not doing so. One thing he told me and took my promise is not to beat his grandchildren. Now they have beaten me in arguments and technical skills. I am back to square one - that is to learning. This time from my children. I enjoy it.

READ: MOTHER'S EXCUSE