RELATIONSHIP DILEMMA

The increased rate of divorce among the Muslim married couples and the increased number of spinsters among the Muslim women indicate the appalling sordid state of love among Muslims. Many are confused as to the relationship between friendship and marriage, which should precede which. The transposing of the two terms convey a world of difference in the perception of Muslims with regard to Marriage and friendship. Many conservative Muslims feel that any lasting friendship should be only after marriage and they despise such relationship before marriage. However those enlightened moderates among the Muslims feel that friendship should result in marriage. Yet there are some who feel that married person can have friendship outside marriage, not necessarily with spouse. Being the matter as it is the increasing divorce rate among Muslims calls to examine the traditional approach to marriage. I have come across many who are unhappily married because they were not friends before that. At the same time I have come across couples who were friends before tying the knots, yet they too got separated or divorced. Recently a dear friend of mine told me that one of his neighbor, being a tribal man he married a lady from another tribal area in another country.  Both of them met as student in a foreign country and he was attracted by her "Islamicity" of covering her face, despite coming from a tribally conservative yet liberally-oriented family. Both of them got married with the so-called "blessings" of their respective family after obtaining the seal of approval from their tribal leaders. But his wife feels that even though she loves her husband but she is denied her freedom to express and whenever she wants to express herself artistically her husband hushes her and advises her not to challenge the order of the tribe. She is physically and spiritually drained and exhausted. What advise would you give her?

READ: FRIENDSHIP OR MARRIAGE